Hello There!

So if you care at all, which it's amazing if you do, you'll see I haven't posted on this in almost a year. It's not that I gave up... I got pregnant again! I test positive less than a week after that last post actually!

I now have a daughter and a son, and that son is now 3 months old. I got seriously ill twice since he was born and am just coming off a cold now. I got food poisoning the day after I came home from the hospital, and then again a week later! So I admit combined with the normal recovery from labor I wasn't ready to jump back in immediately. But now I'm feeling like myself again and wanting to stave off the breastfeeding weight this time.

Last time, with my daughter, I lost like crazy until she was two months old, and then steadily started gaining. Because I was breastfeeding I was afraid to diet so I ended up gaining 30 pounds by the time she was a year. Then, though still breastfeeding, I decided to start calorie counting again since if my supply dried up, well, she was already a year. But it didn't.. however I also didn't lose. I was being conservative with my calorie counting and basically just maintained my 30 pound gain, but didn't gain anymore until she was 18 months old. That's when I went to America. As anyone who has followed my weight loss in the past knows, something about moving to India made me lose weight... and going back to America made me gain like mad! I admit I indulged, 2.5 years without many American foods made me want them, but in the first 6 weeks back I gained 20 pounds. I did not indulge enough to gain that much normally, I promise. I think I probably was letting myself go enough to gain 10 maybe. But when I realized it was 20 I started trying to watch what I was eating... but still gained another 10 pounds, making 30 pounds up, by like three months into my visit. So basically slowed down the gain, but was still gaining. So then I started exercising, taking my daughter in long walks in the stroller every single day for like over an hour a day at least and that kept me from gaining anymore until I got back to India (I was in America for five months.) But this meant I'd gained 30 pounds the first year of her life and 30 pounds during my America trip and was up 60 pounds... bringing me exactly back to the weight I was when I first moved to India!

The first week back in India, I lost 5 pounds. Proof positive that living in America does something to make me unhealthy. After that it slowed down, so I started seriously calorie restricting, assuming I might lose my breastmilk but my daughter was around 2 at this point (and yes, still nursing) and it didn't matter if I dried up. I did not dry up. I lost weight at a slow but somewhat steady rate over the next couple months so that I'd lost 15 pounds by the time I conceived my son... which still had me 45 pounds up from where I used to be.

I gained 22 pounds over the course of the pregnancy, but was back down to conception weight about five days after giving birth to him. I have lost a little bit more and now am basically about 40 pounds heavier than what I was a few years ago. But I'm also nervous now that I'll be gaining again. So I need to be more proactive this time about not gaining.

At about 8 months pregnant

I'm not sure if I can actually lose right now, though I'd love to, since I never lost while breastfeeding his sister until I started severe calorie restricting. I think hormonely my body just fights any weight loss attempt while breastfeeding. I was having to eat at like a 1000 calorie deficit in order to lose at all last time and that seems unwise with such a young baby, especially since he is exclusively breastfed at this point. I may consider starting to truly calorie restrict when he's say 8 months and is starting to eat a variety of solid foods (which I'll start introducing at 6 months, but just one food at a time, so it'll be a few months before he has a nutritional variety.) I may also just wait until 1 year when more of his nutritional needs will be met by solids than by my milk. For now the plan is to food wise focus on not eating too much or too little, just maintain, and then try to exericse myself into a deficit in order to lose, but if I can't lose at least not gain and focus on weight loss after he's a year.

So that's where I am now!

My plan right this minute is to pick a workout that I can easily do in the house without a video. Oh! And I am also suffering from (TMI so you can look away, but this is about health and fitness) vaginal prolapse from weak pelvic floor muscles so I'm supposed to do tons of kegels and my doctor has recommended yoga. I've done kegels but haven't yet started any yoga. I know I live in India, but I've done yoga in the past and didn't care for it so I've avoided it. But if ti's medically better for me I'll probably take it up again. I do miss being flexible, I used to be super flexible (bend over and could put my palms on the floor) and now can't touch my toes. I used to do yogalates on dvd in like high school for fun, plus had yoga for dummies, but in college took an official for college credit yoga course and it totally took any enjoyment out of it. My teacher didn't respect that certain poses caused me pain with my plantar fasciitis and when I asked to not have to do those basically told me if I didn't my grade would drop, so it was suffer in pain or suffer a drop in my gpa so I suffered the pain. Additionally she was obviously into yoga as a spiritual practice and as yoga stems from Hinduism (and another reason I've avoided doing it here in India) the spiritual side made this Christian uncomfortable. So... we'll see.

Also I don't know if I have the ab diastasis that I've read is common amongst recovering post natal women. I *do* feel a separation between my abs, but it's just one fingertip. And basically what I've read says that 1 to 2 fingertips is normal... but you also might have it at that level of separation and if you start ab exercising it might get bigger if you do. My core is SOOOO weak though and it's causing me back pain. So I am guessing, since I don't have money to hire an expert, all I can probably do at this point is start exercising my abs again but every few days checking my gap and if it starts getting wider cease and desist the ab moves.  :-/ That's a major part of why I didn't start exercising again a few weeks ago, because I was like my core is just bad so that's what needs the most work, but I'm afraid to work it. So I was resting a few more weeks so if it needed to just rest and heal hopefully it's had a chance to by now.

All right, back at it!

Getting Fit Again

Hey neglected blog!

I have been making attempts at getting fit.  So here's how the weight loss journey has gone:

Six weeks after my daughter was born I hit my all time lowest weight at my adult height, and I was 60 pounds down from my moving to India

Before she was three months old this horrible thing we'll call breastfeeding hunger kicked in.

By the time she was a year I'd gained thirty pounds: half the weight back. I tried to lose, but was still breastfeeding and basically just wavered up and down five pounds or so the next six months, but at least stopped the gain.

When she was 18 months we went to America for the first time in three years just in time for the the holidays! I didn't restrict my eating at first and gained 15 pounds in a month! I then tried to exercise control and did slow the gain down but I gained another 15 pounds over the next four months in America and was back to my original weight by the time I returned to India in May.

As she turned two, feeling pretty upset about my weight gain, I decided to throw myself back in weight loss. I am still breastfeeding even to this day but at two years old I decided I really didn't mind if my supply dries up. I had been holding back before that in my efforts due to that fear.

I lost 15 pounds within a month of starting trying. But then I got sick, then thought I was pregnant and stopped trying to lose weight until I knew for sure (I wasn't.) Then I was struggling to get back into it and I got sick again, which brings us to the present day.

I am recovering from bronchitis and am still steady at the fifteen pounds down from the top, but want to not only get back to where I was when my daughter was 6 weeks but possibly get beyond that. However, as may be guessed by the pregnancy scare we are considering going for a second kid so I don't really think I'll get down all that way before getting pregnant again. However I was actually 23 pounds heavier when I conceived her then I was at her 6 weeks post part, so I am setting that weight at my goal for now. If I am the same weight conceiving the second as when I conceived her, then I hopefully can't get too much worse...

So like I said, I am recovering from bronchitis. But I am looking at doing a once weekly post on here again to keep me accountable.

A New Start

Okay, I started writing a long post about my re-start to attempt weight loss is
but decided to take my time and break it up and write you a short note instead to say:

I am back.

More details soon.

I am my SMALLEST EVER!!

I actually wrote this a couple weeks ago and just saw that I forgot to publish it! I think I was waiting for a photo. Since then my scale battery died so I'm not sure if I'm bigger, smaller, or the same. I do mean to exercise more. I was going to start an exercise program on Sept 1st with my husband, but he backed out. I should do it alone, but I haven't yet. I have gone walking though. Anyway, here is the post:

body selfies are hard, but here's my face you
can see how much slimmer it is!

I weighed myself this morning and am now the smallest weight I have EVER BEEN at my adult
height!!

Yay!

This has really put a fire under me to do more. I had tried to exercise more at 6 to 7 weeks after giving birth, but had found myself still very weak and sore. I met a new friend a few weeks ago who likes to go walking, so I've gone walking with her a few times a week since then. Also my baby (nicknamed "Dreamer") really likes to be bounced and walked so I've been active in my home in a way I wasn't before actively soothing her.

However, I haven't really been formally exercising much. I want to change that, especially as since I am breastfeeding I can't really diet (though I can make sure I'm not over eating.)

Six Weeks Post Partum

Yay! Baby girl is six weeks and I thought I should update you on my progress now that I can exercise again.

First the stats. I had gained 17 pounds during pregnancy. I lost it all in the first two weeks and lost an additional 11 as well! I was rapidly losing weight until five weeks. This brings my weight loss since moving to India to 56 pounds.

I am logging again on myfitnesspal. I've logged for the past four days straight. I can't really do a lot of calorie restricting since I'm breast feeding so I've decided to do it this way: I set my goal as lose one pound a week but then add breast feeding as an "exercise" that gives me an extra 500 calories a day.

I'm also doing actual exercises, but easing myself into it. I have been doing dumbbell stuff with my arms, leg lifts, some an exercises. Did some jumping jacks the other day, took a short walk with baby girl in the ergo on Monday. I was on bed rest for three months (one full, two modified) so my muscles are shot. It's especially bad with my back, hips, and abs. So I am easing into it, listening to my body for its limits and stopping... but then going a tiny bit further the next day.

Yesterday before sleeping I tried to do some lying down ab work and my lower back protested. I stretched and realized my hip was crazy tight. So when I woke up today I got a dance workout that I knew really got the hips and was able to do 20 minutes of it before my daughter's crying stopped me. I call that a success.

Lastly, a few hours ago I took measurements of myself for the first time since pre-pregnancy. Since I am not at all toned I thought it'd be bad honestly. But I lost on all of them except my bust! And since they're now milk makers that gain makes sense.

My daughter and I dressed for Independence Day.

My Baby is Here!

I had my baby a little over three weeks ago! She's a beautiful little girl!

Now to get back to talking about my health/fitness journey.

I gained 17 pounds durnig my pregnancy. I am successfully breastfeeding and she's growing... sigh! My baby is already not as little! But I am getting littler.

I have already lost all the weight! Crazy, right?? And in addition I've lost 6 pounds! That makes me down 51 pounds from when I started to lose weight!!

I have decided breastfeeding is magic.

Still don't have the go ahead to exercise, think that comes at about 6 weeks, but am looking forward to that! I'll be posting more then.

Long Overdue Update

Okay so I'm a total flop with keeping up with this blog since I got pregnant. Actively trying to lose weight really had me thinking of this blog more often.

However, I am definitely still frequently thinking of my health and obviously the health of my unborn baby!

I am cheerfully 34 weeks now and getting excited!

I had an infection at 25 weeks that caused bleeding and had to go to the hospital. I was admitted for two days and released on strict bed rest. So strict that I couldn't sit in a chair and as we don't have a laptop and our desk wasn't set up I couldn't really get online to blog on either blog, even if I had concerned myself with that.

After two weeks I was approved to sit up reclining and I started blogging again on my main blog, but I hadn't really given this one any thought. After a month of strict bed rest I was put on modified, which I am still on. However, if I have a good ultrasound next week I should be taken off bed rest completely!! I am getting happy at that prospect.

Aside from the infection and subsequent bleeding (I had two episodes, the big one and then a week later I started spotting because I had completed the meds they'd put me on, so I had to go back on the anti-bleeding medication for another two weeks) I have had a good pregnancy. The baby him/herself has never shown any indication of distress or ill health, it's just been my body. The infection had gotten into my cervix and uterus and irritated the placenta. As of my last appointment though my placenta had fully healed. My cervix had been a bit open (from my body trying to expel the infection) but it has since closed.

I am not totally infection free, however. While the antibiotics they had me on seemed to kill that specific infection, it gave me a yeast infection. Then when I was trying to cure that, I got what appeared to be another bacterial infection. Then another yeast. All these were comparably mild and I was trying to treat them with topical medications (that my doctor prescribed.)

Then my last routine blood and urine samples came back and while I do not have the big bads (gestational diabetes or preeclampsia) I do I have a urinary tract infection. I was put on an antibiotic and because I was mentioning my down there was still not happy, I got one anti-fungal dose as well...

I got really excited because by the end of the 5 day treatment my vaginal discharge seemed normal!! For really the first time the entire pregnancy!!

I wasn't sure about my urinary tract infection though. I had a feeling it wasn't quite gone... I was right. When I went for a urinalysis to check it, I still had an infection... there were also "epiphelial cells' and crystals so when I called my OB with the results instead of giving me an antibiotic she wants me to get another urine test done. I admit I was really upset about that and cried. I just want the antibiotic to get the stupid infection gone. I can tell by the way I feel that my bladder isn't feeling normal and the UTI is still there. Perhaps the sample was a bit contaminated, I'm not sure, but if it was it's just from my vaginal discharge.. which has gone back to being abnormal.

I am so sick of infections!!! An infection crept up inside my body, into my womb and tried to kill my baby!! Just give me the darn antibiotics! Agh!

I couldn't get to the lab on Sunday and then on Monday I crashed. I haven't slept well in a while with the pregnancy keeping me up in many ways: having to pee, baby kicking, indigestion, etc. So yesterday my body just shut me down and I slept 14 hours straight and right through the time I'd be able to get to the lab to give a urine sample.

So I am supposed to be going this morning for the urine test. I am waiting for my in-laws to pick me up. I thought they'd be here at least 20 minutes ago and since I want to get in, grab a urine cup, pee and leave I'd had a bunch of water... now I'm ready to burst and they still aren't here and it'll be at least 15 minutes when they get here before I can get to a rest room. Sigh.

So that's what's going on with my health. Oh, weight wise I"ve gained some. Not that much. Between 6-10 pounds I think. I haven't weighed myself in over a week. I'm just fine on track.

My next appointment is next week and it's my last ultrasound. They'll give me a size estimate and see if the baby has moved into the correct position yet. I'll try to remember to come and give you an update when they do!