Back in the Saddle

Okay, I'm pretty much recovered from dengue. Information online says I'll be weak for another week or two, which I can attest to, but I'm so much better. I've been out of the fever/body pain stage for about a week now.

So today I started Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred. I'm doing it with a friend.

It is hard. I liked it though.

Doing level one, at this point I didn't do everything I'd liked. I'm using liter water bottles as my weights (so 1 kilogram each) and I had to set them down and just lift my arms up for one of the squat thrust circuits. I also pretty much collapsed during the second push-up thing, my arms hurt, but I did some of them, but probably only half I was supposed to for that thirty seconds. And for one of the "jump ropes" (you mime having a jump rope, you don't really have one) I ended up walking in place instead because I felt like if I jumped I'd fall over. Haha. Otherwise I did it, doing the beginner modifications, though I did have to catch my breath three times (she says you can stop to catch your breath, but for no more than five seconds.. I made sure I got back to it before five seconds was up.)

I had the challenge of my wild kittens thinking me doing this was FANTASTIC! They thought it was a fun game. I don't have a mat, and my floor is marble, so I had laid down three couch cushions to do the floor stuff on... every time I returned to it (you get up and down a lot) one of the kittens (**coughPrincesscough**) had broken up them so they were scattered and I had to put them back together. Apparently couch cushions on the floor is FUN! Also, she kept running up my leg, leaping up and "tagging" me (with her claws retracted, so it didn't hurt) and then dashing away. She was obviously thinking my exercise was me zooming around in play and wanted to join in the fun. It was cute, but a little distracting.

I was panting and covered in sweat by the end. I hadn't eaten right before (I'd eaten two hours earlier,  but only a cup of cornflakes with a cup of milk, so not like a huge meal where it'd still be in my stomach) and that was probably a mistake. I also didn't eat right afterwards, since I was overheated... nor did I prepare my food. I was planning on having a bean burger with a baked potato, and I hadn't made them (I had the raw patty ready to cook, but I hadn't cooked it yet.) So when like fifteen minutes after the program I got shakey, it was another ten or fifteen minutes before I was able to eat, and by then I was extremely weak and wobbly.

Most likely that's compounded from the dengue, but for other people thinking of attempting the Shred I'd say either eat something small right before hand (I've read and found from my days doing the C25K that a banana is a perfect pre-workout snack) or have your food prepared and ready to go before you start the workout so if you need to eat fast for recovery afterwards, the second your body tells you that you can eat, you can eat. (Like most people I can't eat right after a workout, but as soon as my body had cooled down enough it was like I need fuel!)

Five ten minutes after eating though, the wobbliness went away and I felt great. I still feel good... though a bit wiped out.

I'm doing the 30 Day Shred now because my friend Lydia is coming in November (yay!) and I want to look great since she hasn't seen me in almost a year, since I moved to India. I moved here at the end of last November, and she'll be here mid-November, so really, it's like a year... and I've already lost 40 pounds! I'm hoping with the shred and watching my calories to lose another ten before she gets here, so I can be an impressive 50 pounds lighter... and toned! I figured starting the shred on October 1st not only gives me all of October, but gives me the first two weeks of November if I get sidetracked (like if I get a cold or something) or also so if after I finish the shred I look at my body and say "everything looks great but *this* area" I can have a couple weeks to tweak... I'm excited to get to reveal the changes in my body to the very first person to see me who knew me in the US when I left!

Dengue Fever

So I'm getting over dengue fever. I've had it for a little over a week now and pretty much through the first phase (the actual fever) and am just in the weakness.

I've lost some weight being sick. I've now lost 40 pounds... not during the dengue, total since I started losing weight. I've lost about 5 pounds since I got dengue. That's not the best way to lose weight, I know, but I figure at least it's jump starting me again to think about weight loss.

A friend of mine is coming to India to visit (yay!) in November, so I want to set her visit as a goal to get down smaller. I'm already smaller than she's ever seen me, actually. I'm smaller now than I was when I started college, which is when we met. But I'd like to get smaller still before she comes so that it's dramatic. :)

So I've readjusted my goals on "myfitnesspal" so that I will lose more rapidly... while still being within their guidelines. I haven't been logging lately though, so hopefully I can get back in the habit. I had myself down as trying to lose 1.5 pounds a week in a lightly active lifestyle but now I'm putting down that I'm trying to lose 2 pounds a week in a sedentary lifestyle... which is true. I've been sedentary lately, being a lot less active than I was when I was losing more. Consequently my available calories has shrunk by like 500 a day. Ah well. 2 pounds a week is still a healthy goal and I'm being honest when I say that right now I'm sedentary-- especially coming off the dengue!

The dengue will make me weak for the next few weeks, so I'm not going to be able to exercise up a storm anyway, though I do want to focus a little on my abs. My gut is getting flabby.

Well that's my weight loss and health update for now. Hope all of you are well!

(Oh, and when my friend comes I plan on taking some "after" shots and updating the banner... I want to not do it until then, so she won't see a picture of me online and not get the full dramatic 'wow Pam is way thinner' thing I hope she gets, but once she's come I'll do that and you guys can see!)

Imagine You Had a Sleeping Disorder

Imagine you're scared to go to sleep.

Not because you're afraid of anything in particular, no nightmares, but because you're never sure when you'll wake up.

Imagine every time you drift off you know there's a chance that you might not wake up in time to go to work, school, or that meeting or appointment that you have....

Imagine every time you make a commitment, there is a thrill of dread deep in your heart that says, "I hope I don't let them down. I hope I don't sleep through it"... even if the commitment is for something in the afternoon or evening.

Imagine you pray and pep talk yourself about not missing that thing or another at 9 am the next morning... only to wake up at 10 or 11 or 12 or 1 or later... Imagine curling up in the fetal position and sobbing your heart out and wondering why, why, why?

Imagine seeing the look, over and over again, on the faces of people you care about. The look that says:

She's such a flake.

She just doesn't care.

She's lying.