Monday, July 31, 2017

Hello There!

So if you care at all, which it's amazing if you do, you'll see I haven't posted on this in almost a year. It's not that I gave up... I got pregnant again! I test positive less than a week after that last post actually!

I now have a daughter and a son, and that son is now 3 months old. I got seriously ill twice since he was born and am just coming off a cold now. I got food poisoning the day after I came home from the hospital, and then again a week later! So I admit combined with the normal recovery from labor I wasn't ready to jump back in immediately. But now I'm feeling like myself again and wanting to stave off the breastfeeding weight this time.

Last time, with my daughter, I lost like crazy until she was two months old, and then steadily started gaining. Because I was breastfeeding I was afraid to diet so I ended up gaining 30 pounds by the time she was a year. Then, though still breastfeeding, I decided to start calorie counting again since if my supply dried up, well, she was already a year. But it didn't.. however I also didn't lose. I was being conservative with my calorie counting and basically just maintained my 30 pound gain, but didn't gain anymore until she was 18 months old. That's when I went to America. As anyone who has followed my weight loss in the past knows, something about moving to India made me lose weight... and going back to America made me gain like mad! I admit I indulged, 2.5 years without many American foods made me want them, but in the first 6 weeks back I gained 20 pounds. I did not indulge enough to gain that much normally, I promise. I think I probably was letting myself go enough to gain 10 maybe. But when I realized it was 20 I started trying to watch what I was eating... but still gained another 10 pounds, making 30 pounds up, by like three months into my visit. So basically slowed down the gain, but was still gaining. So then I started exercising, taking my daughter in long walks in the stroller every single day for like over an hour a day at least and that kept me from gaining anymore until I got back to India (I was in America for five months.) But this meant I'd gained 30 pounds the first year of her life and 30 pounds during my America trip and was up 60 pounds... bringing me exactly back to the weight I was when I first moved to India!

The first week back in India, I lost 5 pounds. Proof positive that living in America does something to make me unhealthy. After that it slowed down, so I started seriously calorie restricting, assuming I might lose my breastmilk but my daughter was around 2 at this point (and yes, still nursing) and it didn't matter if I dried up. I did not dry up. I lost weight at a slow but somewhat steady rate over the next couple months so that I'd lost 15 pounds by the time I conceived my son... which still had me 45 pounds up from where I used to be.

I gained 22 pounds over the course of the pregnancy, but was back down to conception weight about five days after giving birth to him. I have lost a little bit more and now am basically about 40 pounds heavier than what I was a few years ago. But I'm also nervous now that I'll be gaining again. So I need to be more proactive this time about not gaining.

At about 8 months pregnant

I'm not sure if I can actually lose right now, though I'd love to, since I never lost while breastfeeding his sister until I started severe calorie restricting. I think hormonely my body just fights any weight loss attempt while breastfeeding. I was having to eat at like a 1000 calorie deficit in order to lose at all last time and that seems unwise with such a young baby, especially since he is exclusively breastfed at this point. I may consider starting to truly calorie restrict when he's say 8 months and is starting to eat a variety of solid foods (which I'll start introducing at 6 months, but just one food at a time, so it'll be a few months before he has a nutritional variety.) I may also just wait until 1 year when more of his nutritional needs will be met by solids than by my milk. For now the plan is to food wise focus on not eating too much or too little, just maintain, and then try to exericse myself into a deficit in order to lose, but if I can't lose at least not gain and focus on weight loss after he's a year.

So that's where I am now!

My plan right this minute is to pick a workout that I can easily do in the house without a video. Oh! And I am also suffering from (TMI so you can look away, but this is about health and fitness) vaginal prolapse from weak pelvic floor muscles so I'm supposed to do tons of kegels and my doctor has recommended yoga. I've done kegels but haven't yet started any yoga. I know I live in India, but I've done yoga in the past and didn't care for it so I've avoided it. But if ti's medically better for me I'll probably take it up again. I do miss being flexible, I used to be super flexible (bend over and could put my palms on the floor) and now can't touch my toes. I used to do yogalates on dvd in like high school for fun, plus had yoga for dummies, but in college took an official for college credit yoga course and it totally took any enjoyment out of it. My teacher didn't respect that certain poses caused me pain with my plantar fasciitis and when I asked to not have to do those basically told me if I didn't my grade would drop, so it was suffer in pain or suffer a drop in my gpa so I suffered the pain. Additionally she was obviously into yoga as a spiritual practice and as yoga stems from Hinduism (and another reason I've avoided doing it here in India) the spiritual side made this Christian uncomfortable. So... we'll see.

Also I don't know if I have the ab diastasis that I've read is common amongst recovering post natal women. I *do* feel a separation between my abs, but it's just one fingertip. And basically what I've read says that 1 to 2 fingertips is normal... but you also might have it at that level of separation and if you start ab exercising it might get bigger if you do. My core is SOOOO weak though and it's causing me back pain. So I am guessing, since I don't have money to hire an expert, all I can probably do at this point is start exercising my abs again but every few days checking my gap and if it starts getting wider cease and desist the ab moves.  :-/ That's a major part of why I didn't start exercising again a few weeks ago, because I was like my core is just bad so that's what needs the most work, but I'm afraid to work it. So I was resting a few more weeks so if it needed to just rest and heal hopefully it's had a chance to by now.

All right, back at it!

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